What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
