Do you still have your period?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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