New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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