the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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