Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
