I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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