The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
