dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
