Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm always down for nudity.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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