Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
