I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
