you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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