thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
