I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
