Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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