just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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