And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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