That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
