Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
