My brain says no but my pants say off.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
