listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
