im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
