Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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