it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
