she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
