Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
