he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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