I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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