You're a womanizer and a bitch.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
