btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
