get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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