i think my tv is drunk
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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