She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
