If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
