Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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