You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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