Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize