I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
