New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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