She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
