What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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