WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
