Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
