I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
