I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
