he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
