I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
