Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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