so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
