It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
