Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
