yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize