take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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