i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
