im about as happy as oj after his trial
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
