Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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