I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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