guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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