I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
