Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
