The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
