Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
