im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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