Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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