How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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