So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
