Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
