I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
