You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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