never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
