This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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