Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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