just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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