can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize