In America we eat man semen.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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