So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
