I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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