He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
